Sooooo you’re engaged… now what!?! Part 1

I remember the exact moment after Devin proposed to me – after the tears stopped streaming and a million pictures and selfies had been taken we looked at each other and literally said “Now what?!”

1. TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! Of course you have to call your parents and grandparents if you’re lucky enough to have them around. And yes I said call! This is not a time for texting your closest family members. I’ve heard/read advice saying that you have to call everyone that’s important to you, but let’s be honest – there are way too many people to call.  As a newly engaged couple you don’t want to spend the first hour or two of your engagement on the phone not talking to each other! So call your immediate family and leave it at that.  For everyone else, pick one of your really good pictures/selfies and start texting.  Be prepared to be incredibly overwhelmed for the rest of the day/night with texts and calls. It is truly overwhelming – hopefully you have lots of data left on your cellphone plan!

2. Tell the world?! Not yet.  You might have some desire to immediately post a picture on Instagram or change your Facebook status to “engaged” – but my advice would be to hold off until you’ve calmed down a little bit. Enjoy the rest of the day or night celebrating your new engagement. Your life has now forever changed – soak in the moment with your new fiancé!!! Call each other “fiancé” a million times and start getting used to it. Admire your new bling! The world doesn’t need to know immediately.  Plus, posting on social media should not be the first thing on your mind. And, as I will discuss next, you don’t want to rush and quickly post only to later discover it wasn’t your absolute favorite picture or you wish you would have said something different. I believe I posted 2 full days after we got engaged – partly because we went to disneyland the next day 🙂

3. Ok – NOW I’m ready to tell the world.  You’ve settled down a bit, finally have had some time to reflect on what has just happened, you’re freaking engaged!!!!!!! So how do you tell the world? You probably have a bunch of pictures and you don’t know what to do with them (if you didn’t take enough – go take more, you’re going to want to look back on this moment forever and it’s probably one of the only times in life where taking selfies is more than encouraged, it’s required). Which one do you post?! One of my closest and dearest friends just got engaged and faced this exact problem.  My advice to her was to tell a story! You can post multiple pictures over the next few days or week, just be thoughtful about the order in which you post. People are going to LOVE seeing multiple pictures but you want to post them in a way that each one will be fully appreciated.  Side note –  I’m not a huge fan of collages but if they’re your thing then go for it.

  • The first picture – I would suggest posting a  picture that immediately screams “HE/SHE PROPOSED, I SAID YES! WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!” and by “screams” I mean an image that says all of that without you writing it.  When someone is scrolling through their IG feed you want them to immediately know what happened without having to read the caption. If you were able to capture the down-on-one-knee moment then I suggest posting that – everyone knows what it means #nocaptionnecessary. We didn’t have that down on one knee moment captured so we decided to take a kissing selfie (luckily Dev has long arms) that displayed my new bling via my hand on Dev’s cheek.

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  • Post a ring pic? So this is always a big question – DO YOU POST A RING SELFIE?! Honestly, do whatever the heck you want to do. If you post a picture of it most people will love it but there will be those people who will judge you and think you’re materialistic or showing off. I loved my new bling but I didn’t want the focus to be on the ring and therefore never posted a ring selfie. I was just so incredibly excited to be engaged to my boyfriend of 9+ years that the ring was just icing on the cake.  On the other hand people definitely will wonder about what your ring looks like and posting a picture of it will satisfy people’s curiosity!  Like I said before – do whatever you want to do but, most importantly, do it for you. Don’t just post a picture of it because you want to show off or you want a bunch of likes or you want to make people jealous. Post it because you’re proud, because it’s the ring you’ve always dreamed of, or because you want to give major props to your fiancé for his excellent ring selection! Here’s the ring selfie I would have posted, if I had decided to post one 🙂

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  • Other pics – Now even after posting maybe one or two pics you might have a ton of great ones left over – what do you do with those?  I have two thoughts on this. One is, if you have a Facebook then create an album and you can post all of the pictures from that day in a “Proposal” album. Two, if you don’t have a Facebook and just have an Instagram then post a picture with a caption along the lines of “still on cloud nine… reliving the best day of my life… still in shock… thinking about the best day ever….” something like that that says that you’re reflecting on the day or moment that you got engaged.  Everyone will still be fueling off of your excitement and will absolutely love to see more pictures of it! If you want to be super strategic about it I probably wouldn’t post the second picture until you’ve stopped receiving likes on your first one or until the rate of likes slows down because that probably means people are still discovering it. You want to maximize people’s attention on each picture so they truly appreciate each moment for what it is. You don’t want to overwhelm your followers or friends with a ton of pictures such that it gets old quickly and they start to think “oh, so-and-so posted another engagement picture, I’m kinda over the excitement now.” [disclaimer – I do not have a snapchat so I cannot give advice on that, although I do know you have a “story” and snapchat is all about posting a ton of pictures, so share away!]

 

Telling everyone is just a small answer to the question of “now what?!” but it’s an important part that most people give little to no thought to before their love pops the question.  Part two of “now what?!” will include the very first steps in the wedding planning process such as: what things you should discuss with your fiancé (e.g. setting a date, budget, wedding size, location, etc.), wedding planning books, whether to hire a wedding planner, instagrams and blogs to follow, etc.

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